![]() Sorry, did you say “symBEEote” or “symBYEote”?īOTH PRONOUNCIATIONS ARE VALID! ALL THE REASONS TO HATE THE FACT THAT THIS MOVIE EXISTS AND PEOPLE ARE BEING PRONUNCIATION NAZIS?! FUUUUCK! He’s coming back to life! Oh god! There’s black goo everywhere! It’s a symbiote! It’s a symbiote! Fans love it when we throw in little easter egg side characters and then unceremoniously kill them off. He’s a D-list Spider-Man character.Īh yes, the Jimmy Olsen effect. We’ve captured most of the organisms but we lost one of our astronauts. Rescue workers begin responding while EVIL CEO RIZ AHMED watches from his SITUATION ROOM. The ship CRASHES down in the part of MALAYSIA where all the ROAD SIGNS are in ENGLISH. There’s no way we can screw this up agai- HOLY SHIT MAY DAY MAY DAY, UNSPECIFIC PROBLEMS ARE OCCURRING, WE NEED TO CRASH LAND IN AN ASIAN COUNTRY WHERE WE CAN SHORE UP FOREIGN TICKET SALES! But not to worry, we’ve got one of the most beloved relics of the 90’s edgy comics fad on board. Interrogative: did you also pick up Spider-Man? The cargo has been retrieved from the wreckage of the previous franchise. This is USS Inciting Incident, now approaching earth. All of the AUDIENCE MEMBERS who saw THE PREDATOR recently become INSTANTLY UNCOMFORTABLE at this choice of OPENING. We open on a ROCKET SHIP flying through the vastness of the extraterrestrial void.
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May 2023
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